Hello, Sunny here. Today’s feeling along with reflection on Action-Work-Labour in The Freedom to be free by Hannah Arendt.
I have noticed a big change within me. I have begun to accept more of pure humanness, which I have not been aware of. My feelings, my needs, my reasonings, my wants and desire, my urges, and my own meaningfulness to my existence. It is all about my “being” in this world and with others.
I feared if I look into and become curious about myself, I thought I would lose myself. I thought I would lose everyone else around me. I thought I would disappear into thin air. I thought I may fall into the pitch-dark black hall. The moment I confess I am utterly selfish and self-centred, I thought I would turn into some pure evil psychopath. I was afraid of looking at myself, looking into myself, and looking to myself. Maybe I already knew that I will not be able to find answer, the answer I wanted to hear, or the answer I felt urged to her. What was it that I desperately wanted to hear? That there IS an answer, and one day I will know all the truth I wanted to know.
Nevertheless, I find myself talking to myself, “Sweetheart, there is no answer and there is no truth you want to hear. If anyone tell you that they found THE answer and The truth, please don’t believe in them. They are deceiving themselves in their own delusional mind. Because their answer and truth are the only by-product of their pure imagination and wishes. We are not as objective and altruistic as we wish we are. But that’s okay. Our selfish existence is not be judged as right or wrong and good or evil. We are to exist as who we are. Our own individual existence is the beginning and meaningfulness itself as long as we can accept it as fundamental reason for respecting myself as well as others.”
Can I accept myself with all my difference, my needs and my wants, my different reasons for feelings for various phenomena in life, my different meaningful value for my own memories, and my desire for connecting with others as who I am?
Can I really love, accept, and respect myself in such a way as well as others?
Hannah Arendt’s exposition on Action-Work-Labour predisposes us to ask ourselves questions on our motive and reasons of our own existence. Our eagerness to answer on our own existence, whether it is labour, work or action, makes us restless and relentless.
I thought my endless backbreaking labour will bring answer to my searching for answer. My insatiable work was supposed to make me feel satisfied But to no avail!
For many years, I have been indecisive of many issues in my life. Being indecisive of knowing and discovering Me, therefore feeling unsettled within me with fear of uncertainty for me, others and the future. There has been nor firm or healthy Me. Hence, I could not “ACT.” There has been no freedom or choice or responsibility within me. There was only fear. Fear gripped me with such forceful power, which paralysed me and stopped me from “ACT.”
Am I still labouring for life or life is making me labour for itself?
Am I working so hard to fill the bottomless void with everything that are seemingly glittering, luscious, and desirable?
Or am I truly conscious of what I am doing, why I am doing what I am doing, and I can decide how I am going to do what I want to do with clarity on why I am doing what I am doing?
Here I am asking the very questions I have been avoiding out of my own fear of knowing myself.
“How are you today?”
“Are you free?”
“Are you freeing yourself?”
“How are you enjoying your freedom?”
“Does your freedom bring you love and confidence to make your own choice?”
“Does your freedom make you grow?”
“Does your freedom make you love yourself and others more?”
Today, I am encountering myself with this one and only question,
“Are you free today?”
Hannah Arendt; The Freedom to be Free; Penguin Random House UK, 2018.
Edith Eger; The Choice; Penguin Random House UK, 2017.
Edith Eger; The Gift; Penguin Random House UK; 2020.